guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
