If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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