Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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