They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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