im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
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I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
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I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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