she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
