Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize