Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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