did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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