i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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