No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
