saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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