he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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