i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
