dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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