Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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