My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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