What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
