My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You dont lie about slip and slides
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
