I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
sex in a hospital.. check
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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