I got chris browned last night
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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