so explain again why im purple
no
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
