i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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