wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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