This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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