I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
