everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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