Sponge bath it is.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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