If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize