have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
