people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I think a kid would responsible me up
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
