how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
