Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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