How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
