Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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