I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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