Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
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Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
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I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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