sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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