every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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