1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
