So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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