:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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