i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
