Pappa wants mamma naked
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
