why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?