Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I hate all girls vehemently.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
