There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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