Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
if only i could text you this smell
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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