Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
sex in a hospital.. check
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
