So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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