I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
