Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
