So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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