were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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