It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
