he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
