I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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