youre lurking in front of me
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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